A Clemens-Like Return

Well I'm back from my two week long hiatus at the lawn gnome convention. Good times. I apologize a thousand times to the 3 of you that read this with the even slightest bit of regularity. For today, just some things I've been thinking about lately.

First of all, the American League East race is not over. Not even close. It's still May people. Now here's the kicker. Let's say the Red Sox don't suffer any injuries at all the rest of the season, the same kind of luck they're having right now (except Josh Beckett's uh..."avulsion"). If they don't get hit by the injury bug that killed them last year, this thing is over. They'll win it going away. As it sits right now on May 19th at 1:30 pm, the Red Sox are 28-12. The Yankees are 18-20. That means there's 122 games to be played for each. If the Red Sox go .500 which would be a 61-61 record, the Yankees would have to go 71-51 obviously. Now if the Red Sox play .500 the rest of the way I'd be shocked and dismayed and bummed. The Yankees certainly have the capability of going 20 games above, and more, but not if they play like this all year.

Roger Clemens, you are a fat greedy turd.

By the way, Clemens will not make the difference in this race. Mark my words. For a few reasons too. First of all, the Yankees are looking at a 10 game difference right now. If Clemens goes 10-0, which he won't, trust me, then what does that really mean? One guy, especially a starting pitcher is not going to make the difference for that team. Secondly, Clemens is not a reliever. The Yankees bullpen has been garbage all year, partially because their starters have been bad too, but the bullpen has just been dreadful. And Roger isn't going to help that at all. I think I remember hearing that Clemens averaged about 6 innings a start last year at the most. That's not going to help save a bullpen that's already been depleted. And last, Clemens chokes in any big situation, so keep that in mind.

I was lucky enough to get to the Mother's Day game at Fenway last week. Probably the best Sox game I've ever been to, all because of the 20 minutes that was the ninth inning. Funny game that way. But that's just the Red Sox right now. They don't lose, it's like muscle memory now.

I feel dirty, I feel very dirty. I have been watching some of the NBA Playoffs, but it's not that bad because I haven't been watching the Eastern Conference. I was very intrigued by the Suns-Spurs series, and it pains me that the Suns are done. Now we get the pleasure of watching two of the most unpleasurable teams to watch battle in the conference finals. The Spurs are not interesting at all, and they're opposed by the Utah Jazz. Quick, name the Jazz starting line-up. Uh...Stockton, Malone, Hornacek...?

Start watching the NHL playoffs. It's fun.

I could talk about football, but I'd rather not.

Full day of baseball today, with the Sox playing a day-nighter with the Yankees-Mets game (the Yankees' 27th game on national TV already this year it seems) sandwiched in between. And I've got a good vibe because as I started this entry, Julio Lugo hit a homer (fantasy points!) and Youk stayed red hot with a homer of his own as I finished it up. Happy baseball watching kids.
-MC

Say it ain't so Roger (again)

It looks like Mr. Brady won’t be the only one donning a Yankee cap. Roger Clemens signed with the Yanks today and will soon become the 423rd pitcher to start this season for Joe Torre. Here at the ‘Nation we are disappointed that he didn’t sign with the Sox.
I don’t see Clemens making enough of an impact to right the Yankee ship, I think there starting rotation is too depleted for one man to save and I don’t think Roger will be ready to make 8 inning starts anytime soon to help the bullpen.
I do think he will help moral, as noted by the huge ovation he received in the Bronx today and the empowered looks on the faces of the players in the dugout. But I don’t think it will be enough for the Yanks to win the division yet again. (at least I hope)

Dave

Well Lookie Here

Not many things get the "this needs to be blogged about right now" treatment, but I figured this picture of Mr. Amazinglycandonowrong Tom Brady was worth it. Saw this picture on the Boston Dirt Dogs site and had to get all over it. A few things...

1. Nice hat, ass-clown. Brady has been seen sporting a Red Sox hat in the past, has been to Red Sox opening days, and all of that good stuff, and look at this. Part of me loves it, because it gives me yet another reason to not like the guy.
2. Even cooler shirt, guy. Does that shirt look at all feminine or is that just me? I mean it may just be me, but still.
3. Two words: Man purse.

So just chew on that one for a while kids, just enjoy the Yankees hat, sweet shirt, beautiful man purse, and the rare occasion where Gisele Bundchen doesn't look absolutely stunning. Just kinda stunning.

-MC

School's Out, The Nights Roll In...

Ah, May 2nd. And this guy doesn't have another class until early September. You've got to love that. Anyways, I'm here to talk about all things sports, or at least my trip to Yankee Stadium, the latest Red Sox capades in genearal, and maybe I'll touch on the NFL and NBA as much as it pains me.

As I had planned, me and a buddy of mine packed up the Pontiac and headed south for 95 to the Bronx on Friday night. Let me just tell you, that it was the best idea I've had in a while. The picture above was taken by yours truly as a fight errupted 10 feet away from us pairing a Sox fan and a Yankees fan against another Yankees fan. No real winners, but it is safe to assume that just about every Yankee fan in the Stadium (or those who left in the 7th and 8th) had about as much fun as that guy by the end of the night. Because folks, the Red Sox just pounded on the Yankees Friday night. After enduring 3 or 4 innings of "F*** Boston" from the Bleacher Creatures, things turned around and before you knew it, it was the 8th inning and the place sounded like Fenway. Although, it isn't fair to mention Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park in the same sentence. Except the Stadium only charges $14 for parking in a garage that is literally 200 feet at the most from the Stadium. In Boston, you're gonna pay $35 to park in Patty Sullivan's Burger King parking lot a mile from Fenway. Good story as we were heading out too. Walking back towards the garage from the bleacher exit, two disgruntled Yankees fans thought it ruin the amazing night I was having if they bumped into me. Just made it better actually.

The Sox lost a tough one last night though, with Papelbon blowing the save. The only thing this proves is that the guy is human, albeit barely. If needed, tonight those bullpen gates will open, "Wild Thing" will blare, and everyone will go home happy minutes later. It's all good. It's all good because the Red Sox just took 2 of 3 from the Yankees in New York, and making them look bad in the process. I don't know about anyone else, but the Yankees just do not scare me anymore. At all really. I know it's only May, but it's more than that. They're just not scary. It's kind of weird when it gets to the point that Alex Rodriguez is the only Yankee that scares me right now. Him, and maybe Doug Mientkiewicz of course.

As reported here first, the Pats picked up Randy Moss in this weekend's NFL draft. For those of you who don't know, I am not a Patriots fan. Stop coming up to me in the streets and hugging me, because "Dude, you can already start fitting us for rings." This highly annoys me for a few reasons.
1. It's baseball season! The Red Sox are slapping the Yankees around Yankee Stadium and all anyone wants to talk about is how amazing Belichick is.
2. Patriots fans, please accept the fact that Randy Moss has been a pain in the arse everywhere he's been. It's not like Corey Dillon. Corey Dillon bitched and moaned and was just a nuissance in Cincinnatti. Randy Moss leaves the field before games are over and admits he takes plays off. This is a different animal. If he changes his ways, great for them. But Randy Moss played on some pretty good Minnesota teams and was still a problem. Dave saw this as the T.O. thing, but in the first half of the tenure. Count me as someone who wouldn't be shocked at all if we see the dysfunctional second half of the fun in Philly.
3. I missed the whole second coming of the Messiah in the form of Bill Belichick? Honestly, wasn't this supposed to be a bigger thing? Honestly, kudos to Belichick for being so low key as the Second Coming. Although I should have seen it coming. He can probably do anything short of walking on water.

That's all I have. If you read all of that, congratulations. Leave a comment if you feel like it too. We had 5 and counting yesterday, a new record! Also, check out www.townienews.com after reading this great blog. After you get bored with what we say, head over there and just laugh your ass off. No worries, it's basically all videos. Thanks to my buddies Toch and Croteau for showing me that. Alright, Happy Tuesday, go play outside or something.
-MC