Macy’s Day Extravaganza

According to the HistoryChannel.com, the original Thanksgiving in 1621 lasted three days, so in patriotic celebration this wonderful tryptophan-laden holiday, I will celebrate this years feast for three days. In fact, I actually started yesterday with a turkey sandwich, but that’s besides the point.
But without further adieu, here are the Thanksgiving foods and their sports equivalent:
Cranberry Sauce: Troy Smith. This Heisman frontrunner has quite the supporting cast, with Ted Ginn, Anthony Gonzalez, and Mashed Potatoes, and often gets overshadowed. Not this year, I mean, let’s be honest, it’s the sweetest thing at the table.
Gravy: LaDanian Tomlinson. Please, he is just amazing. The fastest player to 100 touchdowns, and rapidly approaching the once coveted but recently broken single season record.
Mashed Potatoes: The BCS. No one knows, but everyone seems to think that an 11-1 USC team is better than an 11-1 Michigan (or Notre Dame if they beat SC), or the 12-1 Florida/Arkansas winner. It really doesn’t matter, so maybe just send Boise State. The situation is mashed up and will need weeks to be digested, and then the lucky team will be smashed by Ohio State in Glendale.
Stuffing: Andrei Kirilenko. The do-it-all Jazz Forward is third in the league, averaging 2.6 blocks. The Jazz have equaled the best start in franchise history at 9-1. John Stockton is crying somewhere, and he never cries.
Spiked Apple Cider: The tipsy season of U of Miami football. I know it has been beaten to death, but I have to throw in because BC needs a win there Thursday night, coupled with a Wake loss to go to the ACC Championship. Oh and by the way the Eagles haven’t beat the Canes since 1984, when they pulled out some heroics with 2 seconds left on a big play by an undersized, tough as nails quarterback from Natick.
Turkey: Bill Parcells, and not in the good holiday sense. The ex-Patriot (ha) coach gets his due respect for beating Indy, something the Pats couldn’t do. Despite his picks and his lack of mobility, we New Englanders have a special place in our hearts for the benched Drew Bledsoe. And nobody will forget the antics of the Tuna in the preceding weeks of Super Bowl XXXI, when as I remember from my childhood, all the people on TV were talking about his imminent move to the Jets, not the game the Pats had to play. Ba-Cawk!!!

That’s all I got folks, happy Turkey Day,

Dave